by muffinstud » Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:02 pm
aka "The Face-Off"
In the middle of a nondescript city, on the corner of an equally nondescript street, lies a nondescript building. It used to be a small office park, but has since been bought out by one thriving business. There is ample parking in the rear, and despite being rather large for the kind of business it is, the building itself is no larger than a set of three or four townhouses. It reeks of normalcy in a normal world, yet the goings on inside clamor of strange deeds and even stranger stories.
This, my friends, is one of them.
"Sure-Fire Cupid" is the most successful business of it's kind in the area. Other dating services come and go, but Sure-Fire has remained solid and strong for almost 10 years now. Their secret is the guarantee. "Apply for the service, get a date the same day. It's the Sure-Fire way of finding that special someone." When the first started, people scoffed their claims, but when outside reviewers backed their claims of 100% success, business skyrocketed. The critics quieted, the majority of people soon looked at it as yet another marketing ploy. Surely, in this jaded day and age, finding love couldn't be as easy as filling out an application... Or could it?
The main entrance of Sure-Fire Cupid is large and comfy, with an array of couches and lounge chairs in the waiting area. A receptionist with horn-rimmed glasses and an overly large perm bides her time preparing applications, answering the phone and filing filled out forms. She speaks in a nasal Bronx accent that may sound fun at first. Trust me, after a week, you'll be running for the hills. But I digress. There, behind her oak desk and her protective sheet of safety glass, the receptionist waits. She waits for the poor, lonely people who come into this place. She knows they will come.
And she hates them. So very, very much.
[all right! post away, party peoples!]
"Well, you'll have plenty of time to live in a van down by the river, when you're living...in a van down by the river!" --Matt Foley, motivational speaker