[Writing] Queen Octavia's Lair

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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:16 pm

Oh, look, I am a total tease! Barely starting two stories, and asking which one of the two you prefer. Hmm, so very little to judge by. Better make a snap decision!

I tried to get the two stories to fight to the death to determine which one I would finish, but they would not comply.

So their fate is in your hands:

:) 1) "Oh Uber, I adore your D&D story from the post above and I'm really wondering where exactly you are going to be taking it beyond the obvious - give me more give me more!"
:) 2) "Oh Uber, your alternate DNA mutation world is so much more plausible and delightful than the thousands of other identical worlds it rips off of - give me more give me more!"
:D 3) "Oh Uber, I love them both so much that I cannot ever possibly choose, I spurn your request for a decisive decision and demand both of them - give me more give me more!"
:) 4) "Oh Uber, would you just stop it with the new stories and finish some of the other ones, or perhaps write sequels or short oneshots, that's what I really want - give me more give me more!"
:cry: 5) "Oh Uber, you are such a pretentious jerk, not only do I not think you are smelly and your stories stink, but I ignore these boards so much that I'm not even reading this post, I survive on RP & Muffinboard Shenanigans & Captions & Things - give me more give me more!"
:? 6) "Oh Uber, don't you know that people always pick the last nonsensical choice of not choosing anything, even if you do not list it? I exceed the bounds of your puny array!"

Anyways, here ya go with the other one ;p

Evolnewtion

Part One: Anasterion's Story

Chapter One: Prelude

The scientists said that global warming would make the polar icecaps melt. They said it would endanger vulnerable species the world over. They said it would raise the ocean level, and that it would cost the global economy trillions of dollars.

They never mentioned that it would turn me into a girl.

I suppose I should start at the beginning.

My name is Anasterion, and I was one of the first people to change, although I didn't know it at the time.

You see, it wasn't really just the global warming, the increased solar radiation was just sort of a catalyst that helped speed up the genetic mutations. The real problem was that the human species had finished evolving. Literally.

We had come a long way from our time as chimps, and every step of the way our genes were tweaking themselves, making us stronger, faster and smarter. However, when you get right down to it, on that fundamental genetic level, there was only so much material to work with. We had pretty much done everything with it that we could.

Some scientists think it was a hardcoded response in our genetic code, but no one really knew for sure. Suddenly, overnight, our genetic material responded to the dead end it had reached in its ability to evolve by changed itself. The solution was simple: Our DNA cloned itself, several times over, creating parallel redundant strands.

No one noticed anything at first, because all the spare DNA was simply copies of the original and didn't alter any cellular functions. However, there was one important change made... the redundant versions were highly susceptible to mutation from external stimuli.

Some people had more new DNA than others, and thus were prone to a wider range of changes, and some people were less susceptible to change than others, and thus changes more slowly... but in the end, everyone in the world would be changed to some extent. Some would become freaks of nature, while others would remain “normal” but have an immunity to cancer or some other ailment... Darwin's invisible hand and the course of generations of natural selection would determine what was kept and what was discarded.

In the meantime, though, it was chaos. The first mutated neohumans were trucked away for science experiments, but it didn't take long for the scientists to see what had happened. When they discovered that everyone was at risk and the outcome was unpredictable, there was anarchy. Some governments didn't make it through that first tumultuous period.

I can't even begin to explain all the horrible things that happened, since they were all over the world my one viewpoint could never show you the full scope of things. The world would never be the same, but after just over seven years of upheaval, things almost felt calm.

Your next-door neighbour was half cat, so you dealt with it. You grew burning sores when exposed to sunlight, so you moved underground. People coped, in no small part thanks to our technology and other advances. If these genetic mutations had happened to any other species, they would have become extinct in a generation. But we adapted.

For seven years I remained normal but had my life change around me.

For seven years I was lived in fear of what changes might happen to me when they finally came.

Until the day when I discovered that the changes had already occurred, and had only been biding their time...

And that is the story I have to tell you.

(To be continued)


Aside from being a dramaking, I tidied up some of my other stories and spellchecked them a bit. Pretty pointless given that anyone who would ever read them has already read them, but oh well.
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby muffinstud » Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:13 am

I'm going to skip option seven and go straight to option 8. And that is this:
Write some 30 odd more beginnings like these. Because that would mean that you would eventually have to come back and finish all of them. And then I'd have 30 odd stories to devour. Nummy.

Seriously though, you've really gotten me curious in these two stories and where you're going with them. That, and I'm still biased towards Walk in the Park. Any continuation on these would be so much more than welcome in my book.
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Fri Mar 20, 2009 3:37 pm

muffinstud wrote:I'm going to skip option seven and go straight to option 8. And that is this:
Write some 30 odd more beginnings like these. Because that would mean that you would eventually have to come back and finish all of them. And then I'd have 30 odd stories to devour. Nummy.

Seriously though, you've really gotten me curious in these two stories and where you're going with them. That, and I'm still biased towards Walk in the Park. Any continuation on these would be so much more than welcome in my book.


Er, I guess we'll have to split the difference and call it option 7 then :?

I added some more to Evolnewtion, Experience and A Walk In The Park :)

It's not very clearly where the new stuff starts, I guess I could put it in bold or something if anyone finds that annoying. :?:
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:21 pm

Fairly substantial update to A Walk in the Park



I think I might edit it later to use male pronouns for Ryo, just to make it clear that he thinks of himself as a man.

The avoidance of dialogue is getting really bothersome, but I'm keeping it up because you (Muffin) said you liked it.

I have a lot of different ideas of directions I might take this one, I'm not really sure what I'll do with it. I guess the ending will surprise even me :?
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Sun Mar 22, 2009 11:25 am

UberLurker strikes again!

An amazing and fantastic prize to anyone who can guess the name of the creature at the end of the chapter.
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:08 pm

Small update to Inheritance (Chapter 2 added). If you're expectin' a TG within the next 3 chapters o' that one you'll be disappointed. Chapters are short though, and I hope they are amusing enough to entertain y'all without zappage just yet.

...Will I manage a quintuple post? Only time will tell. Might give another story an update later tonight, who knows.
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Ell » Wed Apr 01, 2009 2:32 am

"Wtf are you talking about man,"

"Wtf are you"

"Wtf"

*babbles incoherently whilst suffering a grammar-induced seizure*

Net-slang-based overreaction aside, there's a lotta good stuff in just about everything you write, and I'm sure continued practise and polish will only make 'em better. I do think, though, that you could benefit greatly from an increased use of punctuation in general and commas in particular. I always think, reading through these, that "this part here could use a break," or "an ellipsis or something would really spice this up."

Of course, that's just personal preference talking, and it's certainly functional as-is. Looking forward to where you might take some of these!

*goes back to out-lurking Uberlurker :P *
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:47 am

Ell wrote:
"Wtf are you talking about man,"

"Wtf are you"

"Wtf"

*babbles incoherently whilst suffering a grammar-induced seizure*

Net-slang-based overreaction aside, there's a lotta good stuff in just about everything you write, and I'm sure continued practise and polish will only make 'em better. I do think, though, that you could benefit greatly from an increased use of punctuation in general and commas in particular. I always think, reading through these, that "this part here could use a break," or "an ellipsis or something would really spice this up."

Of course, that's just personal preference talking, and it's certainly functional as-is. Looking forward to where you might take some of these!

*goes back to out-lurking Uberlurker :P *


Hey, my characters are allowed to use 1337speak in their dialogue! Just make sure I don't pull any hax and start using it in the narrative as well ^^

Commas really are the bane of my writing existence, curse them. Probably because I speak in a very longwinded convoluted and nonsensical disjointed manner which doesn't really use them very much. Oh well.

I don't think I'll be adding more ellipses any time soon, they can be too easily over used... they lose their effect when you just keep trailing off... and they make you sound a little senile if you keep at it... y'know?

And whaddya mean by breaks? Paragraph breaks? Or tea breaks? Cuz those would be fun :), or maybe leave a space like this

-picture this dash being in the middle of the line because I can't center it for some reason-

breaks.

But yeah, I'm a pretty lame lurker, but to my credit I think 100% of my posts have been in March, April & May. Not going to fact check that though =p.

Anywho, thanks for dropping by, and giving me an excuse to bump my thread without adding anything to any stories ^^

Edit - And, just for you, the next update will be fanfiction, gwhahahahahaha!
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Mitera Nikkou » Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:33 am

I can explain the problem with the punctuation, concerning the commas and the ellipses...

...

I'm a punctuation vampire. Uberlurker's punctuation is so yummy that I always make sure to be punctual for his writing, and puncture his punctuation vein. It was such a break when I found him. I can now pull out a bunch of puns because of all the words that start with "pun."

Also, since I'm not overwhelmed by anything at the moment, I'll see about actually reading your stories while I feast upon them. But it'll have to wait for a bit, since I'm tired. It'd be unwise to go to bed on a full stomach, you know?

This message is a birthday gift to you. Enjoy. :D
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:31 am

IT WAS YOU!!!

*Throws clothes soaked in garlic at you*

Thanks though, and if you're going to read anything I recommend Potential, Disillogica, Patience or The First Cat Lady, as these are the only ones that actually have an ending.

That said, I started working on a little something special today, call it my birthday present to MSF :P. It will be up sometime late late tomorrow morning, and should be quite good. No promises though, it's moderately long and I'm not posting it till it's finished and given a very brief proof read.
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Mitera Nikkou » Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:37 pm

Okay, due to some kind of miracle, I was able to stick around long enough to read all of the stories that you had suggested. Although I remember reading Potential from some time ago.

...

Damn. I have to say something. Muuuu~

...

I can't. I lack the skill to do so. ;/

Instead, I offer pre-reader service! You're welcome to PM your next story to me, and I'll fix it up. For better or worse. I dunno. I'm hungry.

*Wanders off for some food*
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:06 am

I may as well take you up on that offer, so that the 2 other people who actually read my story can enjoy a less error prone version ^^

I just finished the first draft, at 7707 words it's just the length I like stories to be. I'll proof read it myself when I wake up tomorrow before attacking you with it via PM though, I make so many hilariously bad errors after 11PM, and it's 3AM right now so I expect it to be hideous.

It wasn't easy to find the time to write the story in one day, but I managed. I thought of it on the bus this morning, and worked on it for most of the day (Except in the evening, when people insisted on stuffing me full of cake).
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:42 pm

Well, my auspicious editor made no changes to the story (Because it was perfect, of course). I gave it another look-over, but didn't really change much. So here it is for your perusing pleasure:

One Magical Day

Comments are always very welcome.

Hope you enjoy(ed) it.
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Ell » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:58 pm

Okay, so a little under three weeks late, but...

It's pretty good. Virtually no technical errors, and a strong voice that carried through to the ending (which, along with the casual reference to a third thingamajig pretty firmly demands a sequel). Not as pure funny as Disillogica was, but a fair amount more competent. There were a couple of things I'm tempted to grumble about, but they're pretty much immutable genre conventions, so, yeah. Two thumbs in a generally upward position?
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Re: Uberlurker's Burrow

Postby Queen Octavia » Mon May 31, 2010 3:15 pm

I was bored this morning so I wrote a little. I didn't get very far before I remembered how much I hate typing though. I really should've just worked on continuing something else, but I made a new start instead. Bad habit. Anywho, here it is. I'm tentatively calling it "Prodigy":

Chapter I - Not a Superhero

Hello, my name is Edward Green, and I am not a superhero.

You may think that's an odd way for someone to introduce themself, but for me at least, it's not.

See, both my parents are powerful and well known (their alter egos that is) superheroes. They met when they were working together to save Chicago from an invasion of Sidhe during the planar instability crisis back in the nineties, and it was love at first thwart. After they got married (It was a real big affair with all the A-List superheroes there) they settled down a bit to have a "normal" life. Then when The Valkyrie (Mom) got pregnant with me she went back in time nine months so she wouldn't have to miss any crime fighting time. Real normal.

Yeah, we're not your typical family. But we do have a lot the same typical problems that your average family does. For instance I resent that Mr Cosmic (Dad) never spends more time with me. Yeah, yeah, I'm selfish and I know that the time he was stuck in a parallel dimension for two years wasn't his fault - but it still hurts. The real problem though, the big one, is that like many kids I have to deal with my parent's unrealistic expectations of me.

For most of you out there those "unrealistic expectations" meant being captain of your school's football team, being first in your class or whatever else it was your parents did or wished they did and want you to do too. For me, that "unrealistic expectations" is that I should be a superhero.

Told you it was unrealistic. I guess that when your dad was empowered by sentient cosmic radiation to protect the universe and your mom died in battle a thousand years ago and was called back as an eternal valkyrie it's just kind of expected that you should be extraordinary yourself. But I'm not. I'm normal. Seventeen years old, dull brown hair, dull brown eyes, dull personality, dull dull dull. I'm so dull that I'm honestly sorry that you're reading this story about me. It won't be any good.

My name is Edward Green, and I am not a superhero. So don't expect me to be thwarting supervillains, saving the world, escaping deadly traps or delivering witty one liners. Because I won't. The only villain I thwart is the occasional test, and most of the time they thwart me instead. I'd rather save my social life than save the world, at school I'm about as popular as an STD.

I do have a few good friends, but they are as lacking in x-ray vision as I am. While I don't have as many friends as the more popular kids in school, the two I do have are both really close to me and we're sort of our our little island of sanity in the sea of high school cliques. If it wasn't for that island I'd probably have drowned by now, but they keep me afloat.

Anyways first off there's Gus, whose tutelage is the only reason I'm passing half my courses. The guy's a genius, and whenever I float off into a daydream in class he always has real good notes. Funny thing is you'd never peg him as the intellectual type, since he's one of the biggest guys in the school. Since he never brags about how he aces every test no one even tries to cheat off him. He's even on the football team, but that isn't such a big deal because our team's so terrible even I could probably get on it. Well like I was saying he's big, blond hair, blue eyes but not that much like with the ladies. I guess it's because his style is a bit plain, which is mainly because he likes to fly below the radar.

Speaking of ladies my other good friend is the only girl in the entire school I have the courage to say two words to. Not because she isn't pretty - she is, in a sort of cute bookwormy way - but just because I've known her since elementary school. Susan, the only girl I can say two words to, but there are three words I absolutely cannot say to her - "I love you". I've had a crush on her for almost two years now, but I know without asking that the feeling ain't mutual. I'm not sure she even knows about my feelings because though I hate to say it even for all the books she reads Susan is illiterate when it comes to reading people. She's a bit below average height for a girl and isn't as, ahem, "developed" as some of the other girls, but when I look into her emerald eyes or see her warm smile I just can't help but love her. Her parents are both sort of mixes of a few nationalities (I forget most of them but I know Irish and Japanese are the main two) and you can just tell that Susan got the best mix of it all. She even speaks five languages, which is ironic because other than Gus and I she hardly talks to anyone.

Well, I'm probably just boring you now. Boring me and my boring friends, there's really nothing to see here. No crime fighting, nothing out of the ordinary. All that exciting stuff just happens to my parents, I'll probably just graduate and work at an insurance company or something.

Yup, it's all quite normal. Except of course for tomorrow when the school gets attacked by an interdimensional vacuum cleaner gone haywire. But I'd better not talk about that, because that'd be getting ahead of myself.
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