New fanfiction in works

[ScorchX]

Okay, i'm working on a fanfic, but without revealing too much, it's about an part time manga artist, who works for a charity shop. Traveling home on his bikcyce after a day at work, he runs into a storm, and is hit by lightning. The blast transports him into an world of anime, filled with fictional characters from anime/manga/comics/western cartoons, ect. I havn't started writing it yet, as for the start, i wish for it to begin in MSF Highschool, and i wish to know if any users here with for cameo's.

[ScorchX]

I think i'll write the starting chapter, just to give a demo of my writing style

Chapter 1: Lightning strikes twice?

The old man glanced at the various items on the shelf in the shop. From the back room, Alex Smith watched, on the lookout for possible shoplifters. 2 years of work in the shop had taught him that even people who looked harmless wern't allways.

"Alex, you can go and take your lunch break now." Sheila, the store manager said. Alex put down the clothes he was sorting, and spoke to Joe, who exited from the kitchen to finish off.

"Joe, keep your eyes on that old guy, he's been loitering for ages." Alex said

Joe glanced at the old man, "Yeah, i've been watching him." He paused, "Ah well, just hurry up and take your lunch before the delivery get's here."

Alex went to the kitchen and opened his lunchbox. Eating the sandwiches, he worked on his sketch of his new joke creations, Man-Man and Wo-Man. As Sheila entered the kitchen, she looked at them, "They're good Alex."

"Really?" Alex asked, "Maybe i'll take them to D.C Thomson, see what they think."

At the end of the day, Alex hopped onto his bike, and rode of home, down the old quary footpath. Just as he entered the housing estate where he lived, a storm was kicking in badly. Suddenly, their was a loud explosion, and a lightning bolt hit Alex, vapourising him.

"ALEX!" a voice yelled, and David Franklin ran over, to find only the bike remaining. Several other people who had witnessed what had happened stood in disbelief.

Alex however was suffering from shock, lying down on the floor of the corridor of a Japanese High School. Waking up, he saw several girls and guys flocking around, most of the girls in fuku

"Wh..whe..where am I?" he stammered

"This is MSF Highschool, i'm Samuel." a nerd boy said, helping him up, "I guess you're just the latest to arrive."

"Arrive?" Alex asked, "What do you mean arrive!?"

"Calm down, uh, what's your name?" Samuel asked

"Alex Smith." Alex replied

"Samuel Jones, but just Sam please, and i guess you arrived because she sent for you." Sam said

"She?" Alex asked

"Didn't Lady Sakura summon you here because you were unhappy?" Sam asked, "She summoned me because i was suicidal with being constantly bullied."

"Hell no, i was struck by lightning." Alex replied

"Really?" Sam asked, "I guess i'd better explain the situation."

End of Chapter 1

[Arkain]

Hey, a cameo would be nice. ;D

Traveling arabic merchant, Arkain al Abdul al Achmed!

[ScorchX]

Update time!

Chapter 2: MSF High

"We exist in a dimension outside of Earth's own." Sam said, "Here, what we call Anime on Earth, is very much real. Sakura is the ruler of this land."

"Okay, so how did i get here?" Alex asked

"Obviously, the lightning must have created a tempory gateway to here." Sam said, "We need to see Sakura before..."

"What's going on?" a voice asked, and a man in an sentai armoured uniform walked over.

"Oh shit, it's an enforcer!" Sam said, until the enforcer removed his helmet, "Oh, it's Scorch. Scorch, this guys from Earth, appeared here after being hit by lightning, he's named Alex Smith"

"That so?" Scorch asked, "What part of Earth are you from Smith?"

"Dunston, Gateshead." Alex replied

"I know that area, i'm a Northener myself, came from Sunderland." Scorch said, "My names Rick Lawe, but everyone calls me Scorch, i work for the Overlord's Security Patrol, patroling the several dimensions around here, but mostly i work here in MSFH. We'll need to see Sakura about you, and i'll need to report to Skorn."

"Skorn?" Alex asked

"Skorn is the head of the OSP, not exactly a guy you want to mess with. Samuel, take Alex to Sakura's office, while i report to Skorn." Scorch said

"Yes sir!" Sam said, saluting.

"Since when do you call me sir?" Scorch asked

"Since when do you call me Samuel?" Sam asked

"Only when on duty." Scorch said, leaving for the OSP HQ, while Sam took Alex to see Sakura.

[Queen Octavia]

First off: 3 year update... x_X wowsers ;p

Moving right along...

You may know what your characters look like, but we sure don't. Some physical descriptions would be nice, even if the poor main character is presumably about to get zapped into something else.

Things are moving really fast, I think you should take your time and describe things more.

I think you need to flesh out the main character's personality a bit, at this point we don't really know anything about them.

Basically the sum of my comments is that while what you have so far is good, it is too short and really needs more added to it before I give you any cookies .

Impressive 3 year return... I can't believe you actually remembered your username & password! Kudos.