Like something out of a bad manga post

[Katty]

This is a post so I, Katty, can get your feed back on my story. please tell me what you think and if I should continue it.

[Arkain]

I'd dearly love to comment...if the story link was working.

[Mitera Nikkou]

I'll comment as soon as I read it later on.

If you want to read the story and don't want to wait for the link to be fixed, here's the right address to the first part:

http://www.magicalsailorfuku.net/Storie ... ooabm1.htm

[Katty]

horray the link is fixed. thank you whoever fixed it.

[Mitera Nikkou]

Well, from what I read, it was okay as far as the technical bits are concerned. There was just a bit of misspellings and how you handled the narrator was a little awkward.

As for personal reception, there really isn't enough for me to get a firm idea of what I think about it yet. But it's weird, to say the least. XD

And now for the question of all questions...

...

Where are the catgirls, you catgirl lover you!? ^o^

[Katty]

First, the story is suppose to be weird. that is the kind of humor that i like. And the Narrator is there to forever mess with the heros of the story, like all narrators should.

Catgirls are in future installments

[Kalm]

Reminds me of Worst. Magical Girl. Ever.
I like it very much.

I'd say more but I'm really no good with comments, feedback and criticism.


And yeah...I like that promise of catgirls

[Arkain]

Erm...

I'm going to have to be fairly honest and say I really didn't like it.
I will, however, provide constructive criticism.

It breaks the fourth wall.
There's no real connection formed with the characters. They're just kinda presented and...there they are. Bleh.
There's too much exposition.
The plot is not very interesting.
Barely any place description at all.
It's too simple. They readily accept whatever rubbish is thrown at them without questioning it, as if they saw it all the time.

Sorry if I sound harsh.

[Katty]

Well, yo uknow what? Sorry that I am not a "bestseller writer" like you. Sorry that i can not write high rank works. Sorry that this is the best i could do, and sorry for trying to make a few quick jokes. But you know what? if you do not like it, then don't read it. it is as simple as that.







(i am just having a bad day, and you were the final straw)

[Arkain]

Ow, bad timing.

[Guest]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the harshness? You asked for feedback, and Arkain resonded. Bad day or not, sending out bad vibes is never cool.

Anyway, I liked it. It has potential. It's too early to really discuss the plot. It could use some proofreading. Also, I know the urge to go totally joke-a-minute crazy is strong, but sometimes it helps to relax and actually explain what's going on. Then go joke-a-minute crazy. Finally, and this is more of an opinion thing, while 4th wall jokes are well and good, using them too often can make a story seem gimmicky. I'm not saying not to use them, just not go crazy.

Still, it has potential.

[Katty]

I would like to first day, sorry to Arkain. I did not mean it to be so harsh. Please forgive.

Second. I am taking my time with the thrid part and on, (well ok, school and college stuff really is the problem) so i hope it comes out betterfor you all.

Again, I am truly sorry Arkain.

[Arkain]

It's okay, I'm thick-skinned.
While I personally feel that you should have avoided posting in a bad mood, I understand that we don't always act rationally when upset. I deal with worse every weekend in the soccer games I ref.

Annnnyway, I hope my comments help you for the next time you write. That was, after all, why I posted them. ;D