[Writing] AfterDeath - no TG (for now at any rate)

Stories~! Art~! CREATIVITY~! Anything the creative juices in your brain might happen to create is welcome here~!

Moderator: Raleigh

[Writing] AfterDeath - no TG (for now at any rate)

Postby dervivaire » Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:04 pm

Here is a description of a story I have started writing. It's supposed to be a comedy, where one of the characters knows that he's in a story, but the others don't. The main theme of the story is that Death, and a dead man called Will are seeking out God (NOT the Christian God, or any other for that matter), who is apparently the inspiration for many of the worlds religions, and is also an attention seeking, bloodthirsty guy. The devil on the other hand, is also the inspiration for many of the antagonists in the universes religions, but he is actually a nice character. He's recently become obsessed with knitting scarves.

The idea is that once you die, you are escorted by a fragment of Death (of which there are 14 fragments) to your very own 'living quarters' in the Afterlife. These quarters come in the shape of After-Spheres. Bubble-like things that you curl up inside, and once inside you enter your own imagination, so that you can live in your own paradise.

Will's objection comes when Death informs him about God's true nature, and that you still generate life force in death, but you can't die, no matter how much is taken from you. God is not 'dead', he is living upon the life force of all the humans that are currently inside their After-Spheres, and Will doesn't think it's fair, so he's extremely indignant about the matter, and decides to go and speak to the deity in question about the matter.

Death tags along because he's bored.

Would anyone here be interested in this?
Last edited by dervivaire on Thu Jan 28, 2010 6:10 pm, edited 17 times in total.
Diamonds may fall at eventide
But we’re still waiting for
Their light to shine
Diamonds fall at Eventide
But we still watch for
Celestial brides
User avatar
dervivaire
Idle MSFer
Idle MSFer
 
Posts: 101
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 4:37 pm

Re: AfterDeath - no TG (for now at any rate)

Postby dervivaire » Tue Aug 18, 2009 4:27 am

I have decided that there will definitely be a bit of TG in chapter 2, but the only people who swap genders are the male characters (there is a girl coming into the story at some point before then (and there is a very good reason why she stays female!))
Last edited by dervivaire on Thu Jan 28, 2010 6:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Diamonds may fall at eventide
But we’re still waiting for
Their light to shine
Diamonds fall at Eventide
But we still watch for
Celestial brides
User avatar
dervivaire
Idle MSFer
Idle MSFer
 
Posts: 101
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 4:37 pm

Re: AfterDeath - no TG (for now at any rate)

Postby dervivaire » Sun Mar 21, 2010 4:39 am

The withered black trees grew from the tarmac like a perverted forest, reaching up towards the mottled skies as if their existence was dependent on that one thing. The skies themselves were a nightmarish collage of purples, blacks and red, with the occasional tint of ghostly green. The place seemed to ignore the passage of time, as the blood red grass could be seen to grow, die, and wither, then grow once more at a rate barely able to be followed by the naked eye. After a few minutes - which could easily have been a thousand years or a mere few seconds - there were ghostly images of cars flickering in and out of existence on the tarmac. There was a screech of breaks and a dull thump, and there were the screams of women and the shouting of men suddenly resounding around the otherwise silent realm.

The dark figure lurking beside the road looked out at the scene before him; ghostly cars passed by, and through the trees on the road, and in one lane there was a boy, a boy was lying on the road in a pool of red liquid. The ghostly man who had hit him stood outside his ghostly truck, making sure the ghostly traffic went around the blockage, while a ghostly woman phoned the ambulance on her ghostly mobile.

The figure sighed.

***


Will stared back at the shadowy figure, he was tall and dark, his eyes were a dull shade of yellow and his hair was long and black, reaching far past his waist. The creature, for it could hardly be human, stood about 6 feet tall, leaning against one of the withered trees. Will suddenly felt like running, yet there was an odd feeling mixed in with is, as he also felt as if he wanted to run up and embrace the figure like he would a father. Even though Will had never known his father, the feeling persisted, and he slowly made towards it.
The thing raised its head slowly and menacingly up to look at Will, and he felt himself freeze in anticipation. He stopped dead in his tracks, disabled. He wanted to run, but he couldn’t move an inch. It stared at Will for a second then opened its mouth

“You alright there kiddo?” it said, taking Will by surprise by the difference in character to the sinister appearance “Welcome to the Afterlife, I hope you enjoy your stay!”

Will looked at the man for a second, then with a grin and an air of arrogance, he joined the creature in conversation.
It's funny what death does to you isn't it? One would have thought that he'd be frightened of this thing but oh no he's cocky now....
How amusing.

“What are you? I didn’t think the afterlife was ruled over by a bad cosplayer.”

Little did Will know, but this idiot couldn't rule a pile of elephant dung.

The creature laughed sarcastically, emphasising every 'HA' ridiculously with a lazy breath.
“No.” It said, drawing out the word with displeasure “I am Death. Well, the main incarnation of Death. You can call me Sanquintine if you like.” He took a bow. It was a very professional-looking bow, complete with a flick of the wrist as he bent forwards. Will had about a billion questions running through his head, but the one that came out through his mouth was:

“Sanquintine? What the hell is that?”

“Listen, I ain’t human y’know. Fits that I should ‘ave an inhuman name, right?”

Will paused in thought for a second, and then asked “What’s with the sudden accent?”

“I was bored so I thought I’d try it.”

“Well, you know I’m going to peg you as a lunatic if you keep this up”

Death pulled a face and turned from Will and muttered “You’d go insane too having to live in Limbo for all eternity”.

“Well, excuse me, but I just DIED. Surely there’s supposed to be something out here, where are all the other people? Heaven?”

At that Death let out a guffaw, “Oh no, Heaven is reserved for God and those who impressed him in their lifetime.” He spat at the base of the rotting, withered tree beside him
“Not a nice bloke I’ll tell you.”

“God? Which one? There's hundreds of religions where I come from.”

“None of them, and many of them. He inspired many of the world’s religions, but there is no religion truly dedicated to his worship.”

“Ok then,” Will said, looking around, unsure, “So what’s Heaven like?”

Death paused, then said slowly “Remember when you were little and it was Christmas, and when you open the biggest present and find the thing you’ve been wanting so badly sitting in your lap?”

“Vaguely”

“It’s like that moment forever.”

“Then what about Hell?”

“Those placed in Hell can feel the death of every man and woman and child each time they occur. They literally feel the person’s soul being ripped from every fibre of their being, and as soon as the pain has faded, another death will follow. The deaths don’t happen simultaneously, the happen one after another in this world. It's the latest in Hell's services. In fact, they guarantee you'll be screaming until judgement day, now that's a quality purchase.” He stopped and thought for a second “Although it might not suit everyone's tastes. At any rate for the Reapers, deaths happen when we feel like it. How else do you think we harvest the world’s souls? Nick used to use the same technique back in the old days.”

Will didn’t respond, his body was aching, and he was growing weary of standing there. After all, he could still see his ghostly corpse lying on the ghostly road. You could say that this unnerved him a little. A reminder of the life that abandoned him to death.

“What’s up kid?”

“Kid?” snapped Will, “I’m nearly eighteen I’ll have you know.”

“Yeah yeah, well I’m older than I look too. In fact I have no bloody idea how old I am right now, I lost count over a thousand years ago.”

“On the subject of time...” mumbled Will, “It doesn’t appear to be constant in this place, I was fine just a moment ago, but suddenly I’m famished.”

“Your nails are twice their usual length too, and you’re right about the flow of time being strange here. It’s because this layer of Limbo overlaps with your world. Also, your intellect just increased a tad; you wouldn't have noticed about the time difference beforehand.”

The truth is that this generates a maelstrom of kinetic energy, which moves so fast that it warps the time around itself.

“Don’t ask me about the details though, I don’t know. Nobody does, it’s probably just the narrator being lax”

I think a certain Mr. Death is going to be poorly treated during the course of this story.

“Hey, I CAN read you know! Get on with the story, you’re boring the readers.”

“Umm, who the hell are you talking to?” Will asked, confused. In his mind he had already pegged Death as being completely insane.

Death laughed nervously, “Eheheh... Don’t mind it, it was nothing” he said, dismissing his previous actions with a wave of his hands. Good, but what a way to upset the mood.

***

Death and Will strode purposefully down a ghostly trail that seemed to go on for hours, even though they’d only been walking for a few seconds.

“Hey, Death-“, Will began, but was cut off by his grim escort

“If you’re wondering how we were talking just a minute ago and we’re now walking down a path which hasn’t been mentioned before and have no idea how we got there then that’s probably because the-“ he coughed the word ‘narrator’, “Is getting jumpy and upset.”

I am NOT upset!

"Yes you are, and now you're whining too."

Shut up. You're just as upset as you claim I am. Is it because of what I did with your mother? If I could change that I would; she wasn't even attractive, and she smelt funny. Something about her nose bugged me.

"My mother was too good for you, plus, you're just a voice! Over a billion years of service to the Afterlife only to get spoken down to by a mere sentient voice? What makes you so touchy though? Was it because of what I did with YOUR mother?"

All right, one certain Reaper is definitely not going to be treated nicely during the course of this fable.

“I could kill you if I wanted to you know.”

Have some respect for the Narrator. All I have to do is stop writing and all of you will cease to exist.
By this time, Will was on the verge of looking for a mental hospital, he was sure there would be one somewhere; even if this was the afterlife people still had issues.

Eventually the duo reached a set of stone stairs, overgrown with beady strings of odd plant-life and imposing. At the zenith of the uppermost step there was a bubble-like sphere, round and reflective. Although in the reflections one could see that only people’s shadows were reflected. For this there is no known reason, since nobody is even remotely interested enough to look into it. Anyway, it floated about a foot above the highest step, like a huge disco ball it reflected the light from the colourful (if ominous) sky.

“What’s that then?” Asked Will, nothing seemed to bother him after being stuck with an insipid Cro-Magnon freak for the last few hours.

“I hate you...” Death started, “So much.”

“Wha- why?” Will asked, confused, only to be assured hastily that the comment wasn’t directed at him.

“Ahem, that there is an After-Sphere, as we call them,” He said quickly, covering up his stupidity of reply to nothing, “Once you die, you are escorted to a fragment of Death to your very own ‘living quarters’ in the Afterlife. These quarters come in the shape of an After-Sphere. This bubble will let you live inside your own imagination, so you can effectively create your own ideal Afterlife. Even if you have a poor imagination you will find it is amplified and will grow considerably the longer you stay there.”

“And how long will I be staying there?”

“Forever.”
Diamonds may fall at eventide
But we’re still waiting for
Their light to shine
Diamonds fall at Eventide
But we still watch for
Celestial brides
User avatar
dervivaire
Idle MSFer
Idle MSFer
 
Posts: 101
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 4:37 pm


Return to Creative Corner

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests