[Writing] Nos' Story Nook, or Crany

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[Writing] Nos' Story Nook, or Crany

Postby Nosnits » Sun May 17, 2009 11:33 pm

For all of you excited people expecting a story from me right now, forget it. There might be one eventualy; however, I need to see some feedback first. There has been this story that I have wanted to write since I joined, but then my computer kersploded a few months ago so I never wrote it. I'm still posting from my wii, so to write a story on it and have nobody read it would be depressing. The reason some people might be turned off is that there is no actual tg, at least not to the main character if he has his way (Don't worry, other people do...). The entire story is how the main character attempts to avoid being tg'd. Now you might be thinking: 'Why Nosnits? Why would you write a story where the hero is not tg'd?' The answer is quite simple. The main character of the story is me.


When I first discovered MSF 1 3/4 years ago, the only thing I read was captions. I read them all, tearing through them at an incredible pace, but then I'd have to go to bed. As I lie in bed for an hour before I could sleep, I would think. One of the things I'd think about was captions. I would place myself as the main character with the intent of being transformed, but I could never do it. I would always advoid it, and come out unscathed. How does this translate into a story though? In my head I came up with my own universe, with a wide arway of characters, conflicts and 'drama', with me as the 'star'. Now, how would this story be writen, if it is written? It will be of two styles. First, it would be 3rd person limited ominesence, like Harry Potter oe Mercedes Lackey, and through a 1st person journal entry. How long is this story? I don't know. I'm still 'writing' it in my head, going through battles and wars between good and evil.

Now that that is out of the way, I might need some feedback. Would anyone actually read a story like this? That would mean you would have to post, here, and say you would (Or wouldn't). Thank you for reading this if you did.
Last edited by Nosnits on Sun May 30, 2010 10:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Nosnits, Now Failing at Stories

Postby Haylie » Mon May 18, 2009 7:48 am

I would totally read something like that.
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Re: Nosnits, Now Failing at Stories

Postby Marky » Mon May 18, 2009 1:22 pm

Hmm. I have a feeling I probably would read something along those lines. Sounds interesting, to say the least.
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Re: Nosnits, Now Failing at Stories

Postby Lanzerus » Tue May 19, 2009 4:49 pm

the prospect of you avoiding tgs by hairsbreathd would be quite entertaing, plus the ability for comedy would be through the roof...

go for it!
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Re: Nosnits, Now Failing at Stories

Postby Nosnits » Tue May 19, 2009 5:26 pm

Well, unfortuantly, I lack all of the humor devices to make a story such as this funny. It will probably turn out bland-ish in the end. However, I guess I will write this story, but it will take me a long time to do. I have to: Shoer up the magic system, get defenit names down and figure what the **** happens at the begining of the story. Addinf to that, I'm a notoriously slow typer that has to type on a Wii, so don't expect a story for a while.
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Re: Nosnits, Now Failing at Stories

Postby AshK » Tue May 19, 2009 5:28 pm

I would definitely read a story like that. I look foward to seeing it!
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Re: Nosnits, Now Failing at Stories

Postby Nosnits » Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:33 pm

Remember a while ago when I said I'd write a story?......No? Damn, this is going to be harder then I want it to be. Now that school is over, I've finaly decided to bite the bullet and do it......no, not buy a new video game, write a chapter to this story. Even now, my first, and extreamly short, first chapter is almost done, and I'm goibg to have to post it soon, but I have a problem, how do I display the story? Should I just type it up and post it, or is there something else I can do. So I pose the preceeding question to veterans of story writing, maybe a moderator, or anyone else that would know.
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Re: Nosnits, Now Failing at Stories

Postby Marky » Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:18 pm

Ask Rei/Raleigh. He might be able to help you...or any of the other frequent writers here. I know, some, have their stories based off-site, and on another site for the rest to view...then again, that may just be Nikkou.
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Re: Nosnits, Now Failing at Stories

Postby Nosnits » Sun May 30, 2010 10:16 pm

Well, school is almost over. To celebrate that, it's time to see...a story! No, this story isn't the original one promised. Nor does it contain TG (Not that it would yet,, but it's not planned). It's a sotry based in the world of my Imperial RP. Why write a story instead of continue? Because...school is almost over. I can't really concentrate on RPing right now, unfortunately....but I can write. So..here it is. It's only 250 words long, and only the first of many chapters...but some short feedback (If it's possible to get any feedback on such a short dribble) would be highly appreciated.

“Drat...” A voice hissed in the night, as a tile slowly fell through the air, and smashed upon the stone cobbles below. The specter froze upon the balcony, but no-one stirred within. After waiting a while, the apparition put out his hand, and slowly turned the handle and opened the door. The phantom slowly slipped off it’s boots, and went in. Once inside, it quickly started it’s work; scanning the room quickly until it’s eyes fell on a small box on the dresser. It slinked over to the box, the floor creaking slightly as it did so. As it’s hands wrapped around the box, a figure appeared in the corner of it’s eye. The figure’s glowing eyes met it’s own.
“Mreow” It said up to the phantasm.
‘Oh, it’s just a cat...’ The shadow thought to itself, as it went down to it’s knees and put it’s hand out to pet the cat.
Three seconds later, his hand came back with a little bit of his finger missing.
“Stupid Cat!” It yelled out.
“Hey! Who’s up there?”
“Umm...no one!”
Unfortunately, the gambit was not successful, as thudding could be heard from the floor below. Deciding not to stick around, it quickly stashed the box into it’s jacket, and went back out the door it came in. As the man made it up the stairs, all he could find was his cat, hiding under the bed, and a pair of boots on the balcony.
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Re: Nos' Story Nook, or Crany

Postby Nosnits » Mon May 31, 2010 8:16 pm

Huzzahsez! 'Chapter' one is finished. The first thing I'm gonna call an epilogue, as it was kinda short. Anyways, enjoy; or don't.

There are many ways to sit in the world. Some may shrivel in the seat, some may loom over people, and some may inhabit the chair; filling in all it’s crevices. Emperor Mordnal IV fit into the third category. When petitions are heard to the crown, one can hardly see him under the folds of the robes of state. The throne itself imposed fear for one simple reason: the man sitting on it had so much power, that he could sit on a chair made of wood. From behind the mound on the throne, stood another man, cast in the shadows. The Lord Chancellor, Aromorn, stood and watched the worthless petitioners as they passed, only stepping forward to give the Emperor's answer.

“Please, your supreme grace, our harvest has failed again. Could we please have some food, your lordship?”

“Our Most Supreme Ruler, we were robbed of all of our worldly possessions. May we please have a break from our taxes?”

“Our Most Glorious Emperor, I have been falsely accused! Would you please consider granting my most humble self a pardon?”

After each plea was heard, Aromorn would take a step forward, and listen to the man on the throne. After a few words exchanged, he would take another step forward and address the one below. As always, they would be faced with the same answer.

“No.”



It would never be that plain, of course. The Lord Chancellor would speak in kind words, on how the Emperor understands your plight, on how he feels deeply for your problems. He would remind them though, ever so nicely, that it was not his job to serve them, and how it was their own fault for their predicament. Maybe they should of had the foresight to plan ahead, clean up their area of crime, or be able to defend themselves in the first place. Then, before they could answer, he would give a little wave, dismissing them. If they did not disperse immediately, then the Royal guards would assist them outside. Then, the next one would come in. Finally, they thinned; the bustle and noise from the hall dimmed, and soon silence reigned.
“Tell me, Aromorn, why must we keep up this charade?”

“Because, my liege, it makes the populous happy to be able to express their desires to the Emperor.”
“But they never they anything. Are you sure we don’t have the funds to help at least some of them?”

“My Lordship, I have told you many times...we can not afford to help them all. If one comes up with a legitimate claim...I will inform you myself, Emperor.”

The Emperor nodded at this, and closed his eyes. Finally, reports from the provinces came in. More rebellion. More disrest. More soldiers, once again, would be needed to quell it. The Emperor agreed with a wave of his hand. Finally, the matters of state were over. Using his scepter, he arose from the chair and dropped off the robes. His attendants. Aromorn exited through a side door, and followed the twisting corridors, for an attendance of his own. Finally, his messenger appeared.

“My Lordship, we have discovered the location of the...object of interest. May we...liberate it?”

“No, we must do it officially. Bring me a warrant, and I will sign it myself...then pay them a visit. If they refuse...you know what to do.
Last edited by Nosnits on Mon May 31, 2010 10:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Nos' Story Nook, or Crany

Postby Queen Octavia » Mon May 31, 2010 8:43 pm

I'm confused, I thought the two things would be the same story but... they aren't? ><

In any event they were okay. I'm assuming that the emperor is a fated TG victim? But don't tell me. Finish your story. Because people who write short beginnings of stories and don't finish them go to author HELL, where you are given papercuts and hit by large blocks for all eternity. Trust me, I've been there. I once wrote a story about it, but, well... I never finished it ;p

Anyways my critique is that I think there ought to be line breaks between paragraphs, most notably when there's back and forth dialogue. It's less pleasant to read when it's all wedged together like that. Plus putting in line breaks makes it look like you wrote more! ^^
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Re: Nos' Story Nook, or Crany

Postby Nosnits » Mon May 31, 2010 8:50 pm

No, they are the same story o.o No, I already have most the story planned out. I'm just jumping between two characters.

That...and there's no actual TG victim, as of yet. I haven't planned one. It's just for fun.

I'll keep that in mind, and do more line breaks in the future! Maybe jsut write line breaks...
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Re: Nos' Story Nook, or Crany

Postby Zoey » Mon May 31, 2010 9:21 pm

Very nice, I can see your laying some ground for further plot development. Good job, Nos. Keep it up!
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Re: Nos' Story Nook, or Crany

Postby Nosnits » Tue Jun 01, 2010 7:09 pm

And we have the third part! Or 'Chapter' two, as it were. This one's shorter, and whatnot...but I don't like to ramble. Anyways, enjoy.



Dawn broke over the city of Rhaled; golden rays of sun lighting up the old city. One such room, however, was not blessed with this light. The occupant would of continued to sleep blissfuly, if it wasn’t for the person upstairs.

“Markus! Wake up! It’s time for breakfast!”

The occupant of the bed mumbled a response, and rolled out of the bed into a lump of blankets. The figure arose, and headed to the bathroom to wash off his face. He looked down at his hand, seeing the bloodied bit of cloth wrapped around his finger. He quickly took it off, washed it off, wrapped it anew, and headed out of his room and upstairs.

‘I hope she doesn’t notice m-’

“Markus! What in the world happened to your finger?”

“Umm...I...stubbed it on the..uhh..razor...missed face?”

The overbearing woman looked over the boy in front of her, her eyes looking into the depth of his soul.

“Markus...”

“Mom! Please! I’m going to be late...”

The lady looked down at him, scowled, then turned to the sink; the back of her faded yellow dress facing him. Sighing in relief, Markus hurriedly devoured the cold meal that had been set before him, and scampered back to his room. There, he opened the window to his room...and brought the small box out of his bed and put it on the desk. He opened it. Inside was only one object, and it in itself was incomplete. It was a circular piece of tarnished looking metal, with what looked to be little scribbles on the edges. At the center was what looked to be a oddly shaped hole.

‘Great,’ He thought, ‘Another failed heist; one thing, and it’s incomplete...’

He would of pondered it more, but he had no time: he was going to be late, again. He quickly stashed it into his pocket, deciding that he’d try to sell it in the market after work, and dashed off to work.
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Re: Nos' Story Nook, or Crany

Postby Nosnits » Wed Jun 02, 2010 7:33 pm

And now...the thrilling conclusion! Wait, no, it isn't. This is just the third 'chapter'. Anyways, enjoy.




Never underestimate the joy of an empty IN tray. Chancellor Adomorn was basking in it, as a light rapping sound came from his front door. He tidied up his desk a bit, fixed his hair, and looked at the door.

“You may enter.”

The messenger opened the door and quickly shut it behind him. He looked in disaray: His hair was messy, his clothes untidy, red-faced and sweaty. Bringing out a handkerchief, he wiped off his forehead whilst catching his breath, before speaking.

“My Lordship, we sent men to the house...”

“Very good.”

“The owner was home, and he was happy to donate it to us...”

“Excellent.” He held his hand out.

“But...”

“But?”

“He couldn’t find it.”

Adomorn stared daggers at the messenger. “He lies.”


Standing up, he pushed his chair away, and stalked out of the room. His messenger followed him, jogging to keep up. Finally, after many flights of stairs, Adomorn stopped, and pushed a brick in, causing the wall next to him to swing open. Inside, was a guard and a man on a rack. The Chancellor leaned into his face.

“Where is it?” He asked calmly.

“I...I..I don’t know!”

He calmly turned the wheel, causing the man to scream out in pain. “I said...where is it?”

“It...it was stolen! Th...There was a noise! I f..found boots! I-AGH!”

Adomorn turned away after the final little spin. “We need to do a full scale sweep of the city.

“Yes, my Lord...”

“The thief seems incompetent. He probably does not know what he has. Make sure there are many guards near the market.”

“Yes, my Lord. But, what of him?” He gestures at the man on the rack.

“He met with the accident. Since he has no heir, everything will go to the state.” He glances back the man. “He may be useful tonight. Prepare him.”

With one last turn, he headed out of the room, and back to work.
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