Chapter 13- Storm the Castle
The tracked vehicle went over another hill in the uneven tunnel made by Steven’s digging machine. It flew up, barely missing the top of the tunnel. Officially it was designated as APC model 29P, to all of its test drivers it had been christened The Barf Mobile. As it rounded another bend at 135 mph Barb reached over for another bag to keep her rapidly decreasing lunch. As she used it James took stock of their remaining bags.
“She’s used about a third of the bags she brought, not counting the two already in here.â€
Stargazers: Book One ~Earth of a Thousand Names~
Moderator: Raleigh
22 posts
• Page 2 of 2 • 1, 2
by Asuyuka » Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:31 am
Chapter 15- Takedown
The barrage of red and green lessened slightly as seven people, all dressed in black with a cape of either green, bronze, silver, or in the case of the one in the middle leading them, gold. The leader was a tall woman with shockingly red hair streaked with blond. To her sides were the two wearing silver, to their sides the one wearing bronze. The ones wearing green brought up the rear, and here was found the only other woman among them. Steven and Donald seemed to have yet come up with a permanent roster for his so-called Omega Team. They were really supposed to be a mirror of Alpha Team, with each one of them being an opposite of another member. He supposed that was why the leader held a single katana and the ones next to her used a sword with a knife and a butterfly sword.
“Why, hello.â€
The barrage of red and green lessened slightly as seven people, all dressed in black with a cape of either green, bronze, silver, or in the case of the one in the middle leading them, gold. The leader was a tall woman with shockingly red hair streaked with blond. To her sides were the two wearing silver, to their sides the one wearing bronze. The ones wearing green brought up the rear, and here was found the only other woman among them. Steven and Donald seemed to have yet come up with a permanent roster for his so-called Omega Team. They were really supposed to be a mirror of Alpha Team, with each one of them being an opposite of another member. He supposed that was why the leader held a single katana and the ones next to her used a sword with a knife and a butterfly sword.
“Why, hello.â€
- Asuyuka
- Forum Browser
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2007 12:25 am
by Musashi » Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:32 am
Wow, that's a lot! XD
Well, from the chapters I've read so far, I think you've done quite well. :D There's a few mistakes here and there, but nothing that having a person or two to proofread for you can't fix. Good spelling, grammar, punctuation. Nice descriptions. *Nodnod* Good spacing in the first several chapters, but some of the later ones look a little too clumped together, so my suggestion would be to add more space for ease of reading. :3
It seems to be quite an interesting story! Thanks for sharing. ^_^
Well, from the chapters I've read so far, I think you've done quite well. :D There's a few mistakes here and there, but nothing that having a person or two to proofread for you can't fix. Good spelling, grammar, punctuation. Nice descriptions. *Nodnod* Good spacing in the first several chapters, but some of the later ones look a little too clumped together, so my suggestion would be to add more space for ease of reading. :3
It seems to be quite an interesting story! Thanks for sharing. ^_^
Last edited by Musashi on Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
Item 1: ShounenAi Badger Badge
2: God of Bishounenkind Badge
3: FtM Badge
"Yer so funny in a harmlessly psychotic way ;-p" - Coru-moose
"You're like a ninja ferret on crack." - Zack
Dubbed "Moon Master" by Kata
2: God of Bishounenkind Badge
3: FtM Badge
"Yer so funny in a harmlessly psychotic way ;-p" - Coru-moose
"You're like a ninja ferret on crack." - Zack
Dubbed "Moon Master" by Kata
-
Musashi - Derailer (Just Kidding)
- Posts: 2065
- Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2004 4:45 am
- Location: Right behind you! *GLOMP*
by Asuyuka » Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:32 am
Chapter 16- Asuyuka vs Nate
Steven was to the right, next to a rock slab, Donald on the left, neither of them had drawn their weapons.
"Hello Nate, so nice of you to come so soon."
"You knew I'd be here, so why are you still here?"
"If you must know, I had plans for killing you here, but certain...benefactors, have convinced me other wise. So you see,
I am here because you came too quickly for me to escape."
"Bullshit, you always had at least three ways out of a place."
"Actually I have four this time, but before I go, I must let you have a gift." He whistled, as if calling a dog and from behind the stone slab came.
"Asuyuka..." Ash breathed.
"Yes, nice name. Of course you'll have to excuse me from this, she is quite...hostile right now."
"What did you do?" James demanded.
"You'll find out in three hours, or when she dies, whichever comes first." He smirked as the platform he was on lowered itself and another plate covered the hold that it left. Then Asu came at them, scythe slashing at them. Bruce took the full hit, while James and Ash went around and tried to hit her with the blunt ends of their weapons. Suddenly, they were blown away by a gust that came from Asu. James landed head first, but it didn’t seem to do anything but knock him out. Barbara, however, landed with her arm straight out, leading to a compound fracture that left her awake, but unable to do anything.
Nate, however, was left to deal with Asu, who, over no more then 10 minutes learned how to control a scythe well enough to keep him guessing. Left, right, up, trust, parry, fake, left, all of her moves blurred, leaving Nate at the distinct disadvantage. If he wanted to kill her, it would be all too easy, but he couldn’t, something in the back of his mind told him that she needed to live. And in all honesty, it was probably the only thing that kept him from disarming her…literally.
His dislike of flashy moves aside, Nate realized that he had to use one now. Pushing her far enough away to be able to complete it, he formed two spheres in his hands, one gold, and the other purple. He pressed them together until they fused into one swirling mass of blue. This he split back into two; then threw them alternately, splitting the other sphere to remake the thrown one. This he kept up, with her blocking everyone. Something had to give, and it would not be one of them.
Suddenly, a ruby red beam hit her, making her fall and letting the scythe drop. Nate glanced over at James, who was up, and pointing his phaser at her limp body
“You ok?â€
Steven was to the right, next to a rock slab, Donald on the left, neither of them had drawn their weapons.
"Hello Nate, so nice of you to come so soon."
"You knew I'd be here, so why are you still here?"
"If you must know, I had plans for killing you here, but certain...benefactors, have convinced me other wise. So you see,
I am here because you came too quickly for me to escape."
"Bullshit, you always had at least three ways out of a place."
"Actually I have four this time, but before I go, I must let you have a gift." He whistled, as if calling a dog and from behind the stone slab came.
"Asuyuka..." Ash breathed.
"Yes, nice name. Of course you'll have to excuse me from this, she is quite...hostile right now."
"What did you do?" James demanded.
"You'll find out in three hours, or when she dies, whichever comes first." He smirked as the platform he was on lowered itself and another plate covered the hold that it left. Then Asu came at them, scythe slashing at them. Bruce took the full hit, while James and Ash went around and tried to hit her with the blunt ends of their weapons. Suddenly, they were blown away by a gust that came from Asu. James landed head first, but it didn’t seem to do anything but knock him out. Barbara, however, landed with her arm straight out, leading to a compound fracture that left her awake, but unable to do anything.
Nate, however, was left to deal with Asu, who, over no more then 10 minutes learned how to control a scythe well enough to keep him guessing. Left, right, up, trust, parry, fake, left, all of her moves blurred, leaving Nate at the distinct disadvantage. If he wanted to kill her, it would be all too easy, but he couldn’t, something in the back of his mind told him that she needed to live. And in all honesty, it was probably the only thing that kept him from disarming her…literally.
His dislike of flashy moves aside, Nate realized that he had to use one now. Pushing her far enough away to be able to complete it, he formed two spheres in his hands, one gold, and the other purple. He pressed them together until they fused into one swirling mass of blue. This he split back into two; then threw them alternately, splitting the other sphere to remake the thrown one. This he kept up, with her blocking everyone. Something had to give, and it would not be one of them.
Suddenly, a ruby red beam hit her, making her fall and letting the scythe drop. Nate glanced over at James, who was up, and pointing his phaser at her limp body
“You ok?â€
- Asuyuka
- Forum Browser
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2007 12:25 am
by Asuyuka » Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:32 am
Chapter 17-Back at the Base
(warning, politically incorrect comments about the middle and far east)
With less then one minute until the base was destroyed, Nate had to not only carry Asu, but also guide James away from walls, and keep Barb's arm set so the nanobots he injected could knit the bone enough to keep it from breaking again. All in all they made good time, with 14 seconds left on the timer they made it back to the Barf Mobile. By 8 seconds they were all in, and by 3 Nate had turned it around and gunned the engine. It leapt forward with a roar like a 747 taking off and the amount of air they caught on the first bump made it possible for the concussioned James to ask, "Why are we at LAX?"
Warning lights came on as he turned at 300 mph and the base exploded, letting a small fireball loose after them. The fireball over took them, but the hull took the heat without Nate even having to activate the emergency force fields to keep the heat out. From the gages it got to about 150% above spec, which was good because it was only rated for 125% above. As he slowed down he also considered how much Starfleet would give for a new ground-based vehicle like this.
They reached the base about 5 minutes later, and the med techs instantly carted the other three off to sickbay, leaving Nate and Scott alone in the now ruined theater.
"I told you to be on the Unity Scott," Nate said.
"We saw an explosion on the scale of the small anti-matter type and decided that it was ok to stand down."
"Alright, but I've got a new job for you."
"What?"
"While inside the base I hacked their computer with one of my AIs and saw that they were stealing basic cable for the entire base; so I want to you coordinate a search for stolen utilities, water, electricity, TV, phone, internet, anything. I want this world wide."
"Nate, you know as well as I do the situation in the middle and far east, if we do this it'll just be another bullet you give them to fire back at the US."
"Let me worry about politics, and remind them that we're not attached to the US government beyond the fact that we're citizens."
"Still…I would feel better if we had someone from over there in the UDD."
"Well, China said no flat out, and the recruiting stations in Israel and Saudi Arabia aren't pulling any numbers."
"I thought we had one in Iraq and Iran"
"Both bombed out in the middle of the night, apparently they have just enough balls to destroy UDD property and not kill us. Must be scared of me."
"Well, that's one perk to being here. Made up for by the long hours though." He yawned to show that he was on his 16th hour of overtime in two days.
"Organize the search, then we'll talk about increasing overtime pay Scott."
"Yes sir," he said, giving a salute that was neither wanted nor required.
(warning, politically incorrect comments about the middle and far east)
With less then one minute until the base was destroyed, Nate had to not only carry Asu, but also guide James away from walls, and keep Barb's arm set so the nanobots he injected could knit the bone enough to keep it from breaking again. All in all they made good time, with 14 seconds left on the timer they made it back to the Barf Mobile. By 8 seconds they were all in, and by 3 Nate had turned it around and gunned the engine. It leapt forward with a roar like a 747 taking off and the amount of air they caught on the first bump made it possible for the concussioned James to ask, "Why are we at LAX?"
Warning lights came on as he turned at 300 mph and the base exploded, letting a small fireball loose after them. The fireball over took them, but the hull took the heat without Nate even having to activate the emergency force fields to keep the heat out. From the gages it got to about 150% above spec, which was good because it was only rated for 125% above. As he slowed down he also considered how much Starfleet would give for a new ground-based vehicle like this.
They reached the base about 5 minutes later, and the med techs instantly carted the other three off to sickbay, leaving Nate and Scott alone in the now ruined theater.
"I told you to be on the Unity Scott," Nate said.
"We saw an explosion on the scale of the small anti-matter type and decided that it was ok to stand down."
"Alright, but I've got a new job for you."
"What?"
"While inside the base I hacked their computer with one of my AIs and saw that they were stealing basic cable for the entire base; so I want to you coordinate a search for stolen utilities, water, electricity, TV, phone, internet, anything. I want this world wide."
"Nate, you know as well as I do the situation in the middle and far east, if we do this it'll just be another bullet you give them to fire back at the US."
"Let me worry about politics, and remind them that we're not attached to the US government beyond the fact that we're citizens."
"Still…I would feel better if we had someone from over there in the UDD."
"Well, China said no flat out, and the recruiting stations in Israel and Saudi Arabia aren't pulling any numbers."
"I thought we had one in Iraq and Iran"
"Both bombed out in the middle of the night, apparently they have just enough balls to destroy UDD property and not kill us. Must be scared of me."
"Well, that's one perk to being here. Made up for by the long hours though." He yawned to show that he was on his 16th hour of overtime in two days.
"Organize the search, then we'll talk about increasing overtime pay Scott."
"Yes sir," he said, giving a salute that was neither wanted nor required.
- Asuyuka
- Forum Browser
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2007 12:25 am
by Asuyuka » Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:33 am
Chapter 18- Looking Over
Nate walked in to sickbay, and saw Colonel Horn there looking over Asu.
"What are you still doing here Corran? I thought Luke had some Jedi thing for you to do."
Corran turned, the Jedi still in his red UDD uniform from the council meeting.
"I told him that I had to check up on the training standards for the fighter corps."
"Convenient, Rouge Nine. What are you really here for?"
"Keeping an eye on her to make sure you don't forget to tell us anything."
"Well here something you can take back to the rest of the council, in the space of about ten minutes she learned enough scythe techniques that I almost couldn't bring her back alive."
"Are you sure she learned them just then?"
"Yes, right now they're running another complete scan to see where that came from."
"Maybe it came from her."
"Possible, but I doubt it…look, she's coming around."
Asu stirred on the other side of the glass wall of the overnight observation room, her movements slow, as if her entire body was suddenly heavier.
"Maybe it was that drug they pulled from her system?"
"I'm not sure it was that either Corran…maybe an alternate personality that turns on in danger?"
"Wouldn't be the first one I met."
Asu's eyes fullttered open and with sudden quickness she had her back to a wall, threatening them with a Tricorder and a vibroscalpel.
"Stay back!" she yelled at them, swinging both wildly in the air as the doctors and nurses tried to calm her down.
"Corran, could you try to calm her with a mind trick?"
"I don't think it would help, she's just in shock, and it would be better if I didn't mess with her head."
"Alright," he hit the intercom. "Out, we're flooding the room with sleeping gas." The medical personnel left in thirty seconds, and then they hit another button, releasing an odorless gas that would knock Asu out for an hour or so.
"I'm going to work on my Y-wing," Nate said tiredly.
"When are you going to get rid of that thing and get a real fighter?" Corran asked jokingly.
"When you get rid of Whistler," He said walking out.
--
For those of you who don't know who Corran Horn is: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Corran_Horn
Nate walked in to sickbay, and saw Colonel Horn there looking over Asu.
"What are you still doing here Corran? I thought Luke had some Jedi thing for you to do."
Corran turned, the Jedi still in his red UDD uniform from the council meeting.
"I told him that I had to check up on the training standards for the fighter corps."
"Convenient, Rouge Nine. What are you really here for?"
"Keeping an eye on her to make sure you don't forget to tell us anything."
"Well here something you can take back to the rest of the council, in the space of about ten minutes she learned enough scythe techniques that I almost couldn't bring her back alive."
"Are you sure she learned them just then?"
"Yes, right now they're running another complete scan to see where that came from."
"Maybe it came from her."
"Possible, but I doubt it…look, she's coming around."
Asu stirred on the other side of the glass wall of the overnight observation room, her movements slow, as if her entire body was suddenly heavier.
"Maybe it was that drug they pulled from her system?"
"I'm not sure it was that either Corran…maybe an alternate personality that turns on in danger?"
"Wouldn't be the first one I met."
Asu's eyes fullttered open and with sudden quickness she had her back to a wall, threatening them with a Tricorder and a vibroscalpel.
"Stay back!" she yelled at them, swinging both wildly in the air as the doctors and nurses tried to calm her down.
"Corran, could you try to calm her with a mind trick?"
"I don't think it would help, she's just in shock, and it would be better if I didn't mess with her head."
"Alright," he hit the intercom. "Out, we're flooding the room with sleeping gas." The medical personnel left in thirty seconds, and then they hit another button, releasing an odorless gas that would knock Asu out for an hour or so.
"I'm going to work on my Y-wing," Nate said tiredly.
"When are you going to get rid of that thing and get a real fighter?" Corran asked jokingly.
"When you get rid of Whistler," He said walking out.
--
For those of you who don't know who Corran Horn is: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Corran_Horn
- Asuyuka
- Forum Browser
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2007 12:25 am
22 posts
• Page 2 of 2 • 1, 2
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests