Magical Sailor Fuku

by **Rowan** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:27 pm

AMY-CHAN!

*GLOMPS!*

by **UDDCommander** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 1:14 am

GAH!...must...resist...big...eyes! Must...talk...like...Kirk! Can't...resist...any...more! Must...make...chapter......EIGHT!

Chapter Eight
Bigger Changes

The pain stopped after some time. My body felt heavier, bigger, and by looking down, I saw why. I had gotten absolutely huge, and my clothes covered all the wrong places.
â€œAlex, are you ok? You grew years in likeâ€¦â€

by **Amy-chan** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 2:29 am

Ooh! Number 5!

Everybody else please vote for it too? *makese eyes all big again*

by **UDDCommander** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 2:57 am

*behind a big-eyes protecting bubble* Amy-chan, please remember that this is a PM vote only, if you do want to vote for 5, please just PM me ^^;;;

by **Amy-chan** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 11:14 am

Oopsie! Sorry!

by **UDDCommander** » Wed Sep 05, 2007 10:12 pm

Alright, it's time for a voting update.

Votes: 5...wait, only 5? Come on, I'd hope that I have more then 5 people reading this. Oh well, now for a break down of the votes.

In first place, with 2 votes, Option number 5, the TG kiss!

Tied for second with 1 vote each, Option 1, Nothing yet, Option 2, the Elfish and Option 3, The Cat girl!

And in last place, with 0 votes, Canine girl!

Alright, everyone knows where they stand, the next update will be made 24 hours before the vote closes. Hopefully, no matter what the outcome I will be able to make the next chapter enjoyable for all.

Edit: As of 12:58am PST on 9/9/07, there have been no more votes.

by **UDDCommander** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:26 am

Alright, the votes are all in, and the winner, by a single vote is...the TG Kiss!

by **ChaosRagnak** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 9:28 am

yay! can't wait for the next chapters now.... imagine the possibilities you can do with TG kiss or......the bad stuff which can happen because of it (more importantly bad stuff that WILL happen to main character =D )

by **Ell** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 11:27 am

Not to sound rude, but... okay, this'll sound rude either way.

Your characters... lack character, for one. Every line of dialogue feels forced and contrived. It's like I'm watching a bad soap opera or something. Your "chapters" seem too brief, as if you're summarizing things rather than narrating them. And you barely finish one change before heaping the next on the poor guy. My suggestion: take it slow, try and let events flow naturally into one another, and don't just pile on the transformations willy-nilly. A story is a marathon, not a hundred-meter dash.

by **UDDCommander** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 8:56 pm

Ell, I have come to realize that you're absolutely right, I have just been forcing myself since about the middle of chapter 3 to just do it and I haven't been letting the characters be themselves. The length of them have been more because I wanted to do them by forum post, but that would also hinder the characters. Thank you for being harsh and helping me come to realize this.
So, in taking that advice, I'm gonna put off writing more chapters until I have lengthened the last 8, and I find a place to put them other then the MSF forums. Any suggestions on as to where, feel free to post.

Don't worry those of you who voted, I will still put in the TG kiss at some point, but look at it this way; the people who voted for "Nothing...yet" are getting their way too.

by **ChaosRagnak** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:52 pm

well, you could put your chapters on Fanfiction? might be a good idea xD

http://www.fanfiction.net/

you make an account and then u write/upload your chapters there o.o

by **UDDCommander** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:18 pm

ChaosRagnak wrote:well, you could put your chapters on Fanfiction? might be a good idea xD

http://www.fanfiction.net/

you make an account and then u write/upload your chapters there o.o

I actually tried that once, and got that account banned because it wasn't an actual fanfiction

by **Rowan** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:23 am

Doesn't the MSF Site here have a section for stories? Couldn't you submit your stuff to Nikkou for upload?

by **muffinstud** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:49 am

You could also make a livejournal account. That's what I did for my stories. The format is pretty straightforward too.

Magical Sailor Fuku

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