An Appointment With An Anomaly

[AmbushCat]

*Maid #46 walks casually down the street, several bags of groceries in her hand. After a short while, she stops outside a two-story apartment complex, shaped like an 'L' and stretching across several acres. An electronic sign posted nearby advertises the place as "Othello Hamlet Apartments", and on the whole the place looks to be in good condition.*

#46: *shuffles her feet impatiently* Hope my lady doesn't take too long... I'd like to be able to refrigerate these at some point.

[Ookalf]

*Just a few seconds later, Circe indeed arrives.* So, this is the apartment you told me about?

[AmbushCat]

#46: *bows* Yes. I called ahead and confirmed that she's home, so we can just go right on in. *leads Circe into the complex's lobby* I don't need to tell you to withhold your judgment until you've met her, right?

[Ookalf]

*Circe follows #46 in.* Right, I know... Anything I should expect besides the obvious?

[AmbushCat]

*The maid walks into an adjoining hallway, stopping at a door labeled "Room #101: Manager's Office. No Entry Without An Appointment"*

#46: Well, there is the fact that she's taken her Color's obsession with men to a logical extreme.

[Ookalf]

Really? Would you care to elaborate on that?

[AmbushCat]

#46: Um... well, would the fact that she's one of the few people that Ambush completely hates be enough of a hint?

Voice: *from inside the room; high-pitched* Ehhhhh? Whatcha talkin' about out there, Sixie? Come in, come in!

[Ookalf]

Oh, that does sound pretty bad... *Circe glances at the door as the voice calls out.* Well, are you going to open it?

[AmbushCat]

#46: Sure, sure... *tries to turn the doorknob... emphasis on tries* Oh, for... Gilda, unlock the door!

Gilda: It's fine, c'mon in. The window's open!

#46: *bites back a curse* I'm still in uniform, Gilda, I'm not going in through the window. Open the door!

Gilda: *beat* Do I have to~? I just got comfortable~!

#46: The Backstreet Boys are blights on society.

*A dragon-girl immediately unlocks the door and yanks it open.*

Gilda: *furious* How dare you insult AJ Mcle--- ... *looks around* ...Oh, he's not here. What a bummer.

[Ookalf]

*Circe clears her throat.* Ahem... I take it you're the one we're here to see?

[AmbushCat]

Gilda: *cheerfully* Well, of course? Who wouldn't want to see me!

*#46 reaches over and smacks Gilda's forehead, which emits a noise like that of a rattlesnake. Her eyes spin about for a few moments, then refocus.*

Gilda: *cheerfully* Well, of course! Who wouldn't want to see me? *steps aside* Come on in and make yourself a home. Just don't ve-ict me, 'kay?

[Ookalf]

Right... *Circe steps into Gilda's office.* This better be good...

[AmbushCat]

*Gilda's office is essentially an apartment on its own, albeit a bit larger. The front room has a couch with a colorful blanket and throw pillows on it, the indentations showing where Gilda had been resting before they'd arrived. There's a desk off to one side with papers and crayons strewn across it, including an accounting sheet with a huge smiley face drawn on it. An empty bottle of Pepsi lays against what is probably the largest television ever approved for residential use. A laptop with its screensaver active sits on a small coffee table.

*And as for the walls... ooh, boy. From floor to ceiling, around the room and down the hall are photos and posters of assorted men, regular joes and celebrities alike. One such autographed poster depicts someone who could've been David Hasselhoff circa the 1980s... except for two things: #1, the poster has a print date of June 2006, and #2: the poster is signed 'Ricky Harrison', Amber's husband.*

Gilda: Have a seat, sit down. What's mine is yours! ...Except for the cutesies. Those are all mine!

[Ookalf]

Yeah, I wasn't interested anyway. *Circe shakes her head in response to all the posters everywhere, when she happens to spot Ricky's.* Oh. I'm guessing that's why Ambush doesn't like her...

[AmbushCat]

#46: That's him? I've heard stories about him and Ambush, but I never knew what he actually looked like...

Gilda: Hey, lay off him. He's cool, he's hot, he's mine---

#46: He's taken. *facepalms* My lady, I'm going to have to leave you two to get acquainted while I refrigerate the food. Could you please try not to re-hospitalize her?