Stolen! A Museum Gem Heist!

[The Muffinville Times]

THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY~!

Nearly a dozen Police cars are parked outside the massive Gothic structure which is currently a hotbed of investigative activity. Approximately six hours earlier a rare gemstone known as the Eye of Tim, a coconut sized emerald on loan from Distant Lands (located between the Principality of Hither and the People's Republic of Yon) had been reported stolen by museum authorities. The theft was first noticed by one of the security guards who had come to relieve his partner for the early morning shifts. He was quite shocked to find not only the Eye of Tim missing from its display case, but also a strange women lying unconscious nearby, dressed in his partners uniform and handcuffed to a nearby bench.

The Museum staff are left baffled by this strange heist. The only sign the thief has left of his presence are a letter and a worn playing card depicting the Jack of Diamonds, both left in the display case that once housed the emerald. As for the strange woman, after much difficult questioning, investigators have concluded that she is most likely the missing security guard on duty from when the Eye of Tim was stolen. While the means of her transformation remain a mystery for the time being, investigators have ruled out the use of color energy as the cause.

The Museum is offering a monetary reward for anyone with information on the theft. The ambassador of Distant Lands is offering a further reward for the one who brings the criminal in and returns their national treasure!

[Harri-chan]

Always eager to be a hero, Elliot was soon on the scene after seeing the headlines in the newspaper. After hanging around the chattering cops at the front of the museum, he decided to make his way around the rear of the large building. Treading carefully, he had his eyes cast downwards, looking out for footprints, or anything that had dropped by someone that had hurried along this path.

[Back alley hobo]

Our eager androgynous hero doesn't find much in the way of footprints or other gimmick clues in the back area of the museum seeing as this isn't a Hannah Barbara cartoon involving teenagers of 60's and their talking dog. The card carrying member of Generation Y's efforts do not go unrewarded however for his perceptive gaze manages to uncover a stinky hobo sleeping near the dumpster of a Speedy Penguin's restaurant, a fast food Chinese restaurant famous for its spring rolls and infamous for numerous health code violations.

Perhaps dear Elliot could interrogate the smelly, homeless, and possibly insane man for clues? :D

[Harri-chan]

Disappointed at the lack immediate evidence, Elliot wasn't sure wether or not he felt excitement or repulsion at the sight of the tramp. Crossing the street, he approached the sleeping man, and stopping a couple of feet away, stretched out a leg to nudge him with his foot. "Hey, wake up... I need to ask you questions", he said, reaching into his pocket to pull out a cellphone.

[Guest]

The tramp wakes up!

"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" shouts the man staring wide eyed at Elliot clearly startled! A moment after, the shock wears off and his expression of terror shifts to one of scorn.

"Oi! What do you think yer doing girl? Don't ye know its rude ta break into a man's home n wake him from his beauty sleep?" >:(

"....Wait... Yer not one of 'dem' are ye?"

[Harri-chan]

Jumping back at the sudden yell, he almost lost his footing, and nearly dropped his phone in the process. For a moment, he stared, his mouth open slightly, before frowning. "I'm not a girl... ", he mumbled, but didn't linger on protesting his gender. An eyebrow arched at the hobo's questioning. "I don't think so... but just so we're clear... who are... uh... dem?", he asked.

[Knight Errant]

"Hmmm... this should be interesting."

Dact arrives on scene! He heads to a police officer who looks like they are in charge. "Excuse me... if I may take a look at the crime scene for a moment? I am an adventurer and knight errant. I believe I could find the perpetrator of this crime..."

[Guest]

"Wha? How can ye not know who dey are? Its quite obvious I'm talkin about 'dem'!" says the clearly paranoid hobo flailing his arms about in a frantic manner. "Dem reptillians I be talking about! For years those damned space lizards have been playing us as fools, controllin de media n infiltratin the government! Dem repitllians be the reason fer all the chaos, destruction an all them airhead girls prowling de streets! Dem's de reason I'm havin ta hide out here in this back alley, cuz these lizards, dey on ta me! Its all a big CONSPIRACY man!"

He reaches into his questionably trenchcoat, fishing for something.

"Fetunately fer us, I'm on to der scheme! I knows how ta hide from the lizards with!"

In dramatic fashion, the hobo produces a shoddy tinfoil hat.

"BEHOLD! Dem aliens telepathy is no match for the power of aluminum! Its shininess is toxic to der slimy brainz!"


The police stare at the Knight Errant known as Dact before pointing him to the inside of the museum. One of them mumbles under his breath about some film called 'Les Visiteurs' before continuing his conversation with his partner about the importance of string theory.

[Harri-chan]

As Elliot listened to the ranting hobo, the hope visibly drained away from his face, his shoulders slumped by the time the tin foil hat came out. "Great", he said with an emphatic sigh. "Did you see anyone coming by here with a gem stone? It was about.... this big", he said, using his hands to indicate the shape and size of a coconut. "They would have come out of there", he said, using his thumb to motion over his shoulder at the museum.

[Knight Errant]

"Right..." He heads inside. Aiming to take a look at the card left at the scene of the crime.

[Guest]

"Aye" grunts the hobo as he places the tinfoil cap atop his brow. "I ain't know nothin bout no gem but I did see one of dem reptilians as been skulking about this area recently. No doubt e was sniffing about fer me, trying ta find me out! But I was too crafty fer him an his mind games. No way some lizards gonna get de jump on me, no sir!" =D

@ Sir Dact http://www.calculateme.com/MySpace/back ... amonds.gif

The letter has been placed neatly on a satin pillow, set atop a handwritten note.

"Oi!" shouts the gruff voice of the Police Chief McGrumpy, a balding middle aged man who has grown cynical of the world. "What do you think you're doing young scofflaw? That's evidence! Mess with it and I'll have the boys haul you off to downtown!" ):(

[Harri-chan]

Slipping his phone back into the pocket of his shorts, Elliot tapped his chin in thought. "They were, huh? Did you happen to see where the... reptilian.. ", he said, doing air quotes and rolling his eyes slightly, "... came from? Or went? Or even what they wearing?", he asked, folding his arms across his chest, tilting his head to the side.

[Knight Errant]

Dact looks over the card. "Hmm... lets see where you have been." From his pack he takes out a small golden framed magnifying glass. It is inscribed with runes and gems. He focuses it on the card. Barring any kind of interfearance, it should begin showing him a faint glowing trail backwards from wherever it had come from!

[Guest]

(Time to try an experiment. Lets see if this will help keep stuff organized~! :D)
@ Eliot-Chan:

"Oi, I sure did lass. De cold hearted fiend did and come from de eavens, thats wot it did. No doubt dropped off by de Mother Ship."

The Hobo points upwards at the cloudless sky.

"Dey always watchin! Cept me o' course! I has protection!" he exclaims motioning to his crude hat made out of foil!


@ Sir Dact:

Alas, the Knight's Lens of Truth must be malfunctioning as the trace appears to be coming from all over the museum from the Egyptian exhibit, the Hall of oddities and the special exhibit on ever infamous the Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity. To make matters even more confounding for the aspiring investigator, the cards shows up blank when viewed with the mystical instrument...

"Oi!" shouts McGrumpy grabbing the Knight firmly on the shoulder. "I said don't tamper with the evidence! Whatcha doing with that gaudy knickknack?" ):(

[Harri-chan]

"I told you, I'm not a girl... ", whined Elliot, before leaning his head back, blue eyes peering up at the blue sky while the hobo rambled on about his protective hat. He stood for quite a while, turning in a circle, scanning the skies before shaking his head. "This is a waste of time". Clearly dejected, he turned and started to trudge away from the hobo, looking out for any stores or businesses lining the street opposite the museum.