Vampire Bat: *disgruntled* I was in line for the throne. Vhen I finally claimed vhat vas mine, what happens later? A force of monsters and angry sorcerers show up, ransack the castle, cut me down to size, and avduct anyone else they can find. Veh!
"Life can be one big kick to the crotch, can't it?" Ashley asked, frowning slightly. "I was turned into a vampire long ago when some jerk of a vampire burned down my village and killed everyone I knew, then turned me and kept me as a servant."