1. If you haven't already, download Irfanview from the above link. If using Windows, you probably already have MS Paint. If you're on a Mac, I can't help you in this department. You're on A MAC -- THE preferred utility for graphic art, you'd have no excuse for not being prepared anyway.
2. Go to an anime gallery site and peruse pictures. Advanced Anime, Angel of Anime, and Angelroms have been pretty popular with captioneers. I'm not providing links because I don't want to cramp anyone's style, someone else can provide them. Peruse pictures.
3. Pick out a picture to use for your caption.
Pointers on picture selection wrote:-- First off, it's recommended you avoid as many mainstream anime pictures as possible. Not only are you more likely to get a "cease and desist" letter, but people have a lot of preconceptions about characters like CCS Sakura, Ryoko, Aisha Clan Clan, Ranma characters, etc. that'd make your actual mini-story an uphill battle to write if it doesn't directly tie in with those characters or their plot. It's also bad form to blatantly rip off an independant artist, since they often can't afford to have their pictures propagating the internet. Leave copyright logos alone!
-- Pay little to no heed of which pictures other Captioneers have used. In some ways, two captioneers using the same picture could engage in the TG equivalent of a Pokemon Battle by captioning the same picture. It's fun, friendly, and cute competition if it's needed. If a Captioneer tells you to get your own pictures, kindly remind them that unless he or she drew the pictures and owns the copyright to them they can buzz off.
-- Look at each picture you like, and try to create a mental story that frames the picture. Try to imagine that you just flipped a channel onto an anime you didn't recognize. What sort of scene is playing out? What snippet of a tale are you using the picture to visualize? Just remember, a cute picture a caption does not make. Do not use a picture just because it's cute, especially if the resulting story would have an extremely contrived plot device which doesn't make sense in context with the picture.
EXAMPLE (DO NOT DO THIS): *picture of a happy anime girl holding a butterfly in her hands* "The butterfly landed in Tommy's hands. Now Tammy wishes she never entered the flower field".
If no story comes from the picture you're visualizing, no matter how cute the picture is, it's time to move on.
-- It's recommended you DON'T just collect a bunch of pictures for captions and move on. Instead, try to do them as you go. If you find a picture demanding a caption, do the caption ASAP while it's still fresh in your mind. The sooner you do them, the better the quality.
4. Open Irfanview and load the caption into it. Examine the picture. How much of the picture itself is necessary? If it's a cute girl with an entire desert landscape in front of her that isn't relevant to the story, consider cropping the picture. Do this by dragging a box around as much of the picture that is necessary for the story. Once you've done so, go to Edit and then Crop.
5. Check the image size. Try to get as small as possible, but no smaller. This is difficult to measure exactly and is largely a matter of style and preference, as well as how elaborate you plan the story to be. I try to shoot for the final image (with caption) to be between 30 and 100kb. You should hit that margin if you've been following along. If the picture is huge, go to Resize/Resample and shrink it by a percentage (usually if its a fairly big picture, 10-30% should do the trick). Save the image, preferably under a new filename so you can retrace your steps.
6. Open MS Paint. Look carefully at the picture and you should see a little blue tab on the bottom and side of the picture. Click and drag it to create a blank white area. I'll let you decide on the size you need, since it's a style preference. Some people like extra white space, some don't.
7. Check the text tool and drag a box within the white area. Write the story now, disregarding however long or short it is. This is a style preference, though keep in mind that vapid one or two liners usually don't get looked at again, and huge elaborate stories are frustrating due to the quick and satisfying nature that Captioned Pictures are meant to be. It's recommended you try to shoot for all levels -- I have a couple one or two liners, and I have a couple of mini-stories. Try to stay fresh and unpredictable.
8. Register with a site to upload your captions. My personal recommendation, of course, is Midnight Aurora which requires no downtime to have your captions up. The site is owned by one of the better moderators on MSF, so no worries about whether it'll be considered "proper" material.
9. If you're still in a Captioneering mood, return to step 2.
10. Give yourself a pat on the back. You did good! Now just relax and wait for the comments that will inevitably follow your caption's arrival online.
11. Give Akemi some eggnog for encouraging you.
