Cleaning Up Messes Written By: Pyremon-Infernos *Ryoko(of Tenchi Muyo!) is seated in a small room. A few vacent seats can be seen nearby* Ryoko: Ah, Welcome. You're watching "Cleaning Up Messes" a show that points out some of the elements that can turn a good fanfic bad. We'll be having a few guests showing up today to go over these elements..... *a few minutes pass, and she looks at clock, very impatiant*They're late..... *Dilandau Albatou(of Vision of Escaflowne) enters the room, with a more-disturbed-than-usual look on his face* Dilandau: *looks around* Too many of them..... *swats at the air* Ryoko: Too many of what? Dilandau: Girls.... everywhere I look... *notices Ryoko* AAAAAAA!!!! Ryoko: *bops him with an Anime Female Mallet* SHUT UP! Do I LOOK like I want just ANY guy?! *Dilandau looks Ryoko over. She is wearing the the greenish outfit she had on in the first OAV episode* Dilandau: Change your outfit before asking me that. *suddenly, without warning, HUNDREDS of super-powered fangirls and hormone-crazed Gaean and Mystic Moon females stampede into the room, glomping and/or trying to kiss the pyro all at once. Ryoko teleports up to the ceiling to avoid the chaos below* Ryoko: Hey! I'm in the middle of an interview here! Do you MIND?! *her words are drowned out in the giggling and mayhem* Grrrr, how rude! *charges up and blows the girls far, far, far away. Dilandau picks his seat up and sits back down* Dilandau: And to think I didn't gut them on the spot whenever I first meet them. You know I'm a shed-blood-first-ask-questions-later kind of guy who never spares the life of a person I point my blade at even if they pleaded me to! THe only thing I'd spare is a moment to see myself slice open my victem's belly and watch their slimy, colorful innards spill out onto the floor in a bloody heap and- Ryoko: O-kay. Enough from the sadistic albino, here. Dilandau: I need a drink.... *leaves for awhile* Ryoko: Let's move on to another dangerous element, which will be discussed by- *Ryoga Hibiki walks in, holding a map, and looking slightly worn out* Ryoga Hibiki..... Ryoga: *sits down* Man, I'm beat. Ryoko: Good, you're here. We had to postpone the show 4 times because of your tardiness!!!! Ryoga: *looks at Ryoko* Um, are you another one of Ranma's fiancees? Ryoko: If I was, don't you think Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi would have been dead a long time ago? Ryoga: Good point. Ryoko: Anyway, what was the bad element that's been plaguing you? Ryoga: Have you ever been written gay before? Ryoko: I was lesbo with Ayeka once. Ryoga: I'm not talking about that Time-And-Space Pretty Sammy incident! Ryoko: Well, then, no. Can't say I have. *Dilandau returns* Dilandau: 'Cause for some reason, yaoi is written more often than yuri. Ryoga: That's not the worst of it! I keep getting gay with RANMA! My sworn enemy who intentionally ruined my life! I never knew being an ex-best-friend-turned-antagonist was so dangerous... Ryoko: *shrugs* Well, I'd love to let you continue, but I gotta go shack it up with Ayeka-san in 10 minutes! Dilandau: NANI?!!?! Ryoko: Seeya! *phases out* Ryoga: What the he-*suddenly, trampled by the Dilandau-fanatics, who dogpile onto Dilandau before he can pull out his flamethrower* Dilandau: Chesta! Gatti! Migel! Help me!!!!!!!! *Chesta, Gatti, and Migel run in and try to save their leader from the giggling mass of crazed fans, but their efforts prove fruitless as the fans pull out Pep-O spray cans and unleash a cloud of Pep-O on them. Ryoga stares down at the unconcious Dragonslayers, picks up a nearby bucket of cold water, pours it on himself, and sneaks away through the nearby air duct terrified of the things he had witnessed* *Pyremon appears on the ceiling* Pyremon: Ah, my first satire fic is finally complete! UPCOMING FICS: Mecha Fic Not Another TG Anime! Magical Girl Deathmatch!